The Grasshopper
by Max-chan
Summary: In which the Allies win WW2 and decide to party hard to celebrate. ; RoChu.


"And now this final damned meeting of the Allied Forces is finally over" England said with relish. They had all just won the war in Europe, which was why I thought America was grinning in that disturbing way, but apparently not. "Yeah! Let's all go get drinks now! I know this really awesome bar own the street we can go to!" France and Russia agreed almost immediately, then spun on England.

"Iggy~!" America whined, "come have fun with us!" England's overly thick eyebrows knit together as he frowned. "No! France will just end up feeling me up, and since I dearly love rum, I won't stop him!" France winked at America and said "Angleterre, you'll never remember it, with how much you drink. And, I will allow you to rant about how much you hate me."

America gave an elaborate bow, then pushed his glasses up his nose again. "And because I'm such a hero, I will allow you to go on about the Revolutionary War, and how cute I was before I went and stabbed you in the back." I could almost swear I saw a smile flicker across England's lips. "Fine", he agreed. Then everyone turned to me.

"Oh no, aru." I said, backing away slowly, "no way." Everyone but England stepped towards me. "Aww, China, you're no fun! You're the only Ally not coming!" America moaned. I frowned. "So? I'm the only sane one here, aru. I actually _have _a life, so I won't go kill myself slowly with alcohol poisoning like the rest of you, aru."

Russia stepped further forward, violet eyes glittering "I'll make a bet with you, da?" That sparked my interest. I really couldn't resist a bet. "Oh yeah?" I asked, as nonchalantly as possible. He nodded. "I bet, that if you come with us, by the end of the night you will have kissed me, da?" He smirked.

"Hmm… you really think that, aru? Because I bet I won't. What are the stakes, aru?" Russia grinned evilly. "You will become one with your Mother Russia, da?" He let out a creepy laugh that sounded suspiciously like _kolkolkol… _I recoiled. "Hell no!" He shrugged. 'It was worth a try. Anyway, you'll live with the Baltics and me for 6 months, da? And if you win, I will stop stalking you for 6 months!"

I nodded, sticking out my hand for him to shake, which he did. "Wait-what? China, are you insane? Why would you agree to that?" England screeched. "Oh, come on, ahen" I scoffed, raising my arm so my sleeve-covered palm faced up, "do you really think I would kiss that Russian creep?" He grunted something unintelligible in response, much to my annoyance.

"Let's blow this joint!" America shouted gleefully, pumping his fist in the air. "How eloquent, aru", I muttered venomously, then went on a nice rant that only the other communist countries (which, at this point, included Russia, A.K.A. the Soviet Union. Apparently, he heard, and he grinned suddenly, hiding it and his soft chuckling in the scarf wound around his neck) would appreciate.

A couple hours (and drinks- at least for France, England, and America) later, Russia and I sat in a darkened corner, watching the other three Allies argue, quite amused. "_Foutez-moi la paix, France!_" England slurred angrily. "Why is he speaking French, aru?" I whispered to Russia. He took a swig of his Vodka, then said, "I think it was his official language for a couple of centuries, though he'll never admit it".

Hmm. That explains a lot, actually. "Angleterre, don't be mean~" France giggled, reaching out to feel England up. America was just grinning stupidly; jabbing at England with his pointer finger and yelling, "Poke! Poke! I be pokin' Iggy!" I see Russia roll his eyes. "Well, _that _didn't sound wrong _at all_" he comments dryly. I suppress the urge to hug him and giggle like a teenage girl.

_Okay, China. Time to put the shaojiu down, _I think warily, examining my drink in scorn, _you're NOT losing this bet! _We continue watching in a silence only about 2/3 uncomfortable, which, if you think about it, isn't half bad.

"And you" England says thickly, spinning around so he faces America, "You're bloody well ungrateful, arent'cha? I saved your adorable little ass, I did, from those bloody Indians or Native Americans or _whatever the bloody hell you call the today!_" America continues with the grinning and jabbing. "And whaddid ya do? YOU STABBED ME IN THE BACK! YOU'RE A RIGHT FOUL GIT, AMERICA!" he breaks down into noisy tears. America raises his arm to comfort his old caretaker, but passes out before he can get there, arm splayed out besides him.

"Oh wow, aru," I mutter, pushing back my chair and standing up. I rush over to the other three Allies. At this point, France is, ahem, "taking advantage" of England's weakened state, and America is snoring loudly on the floor. "Alright, guys", I say in the voice I would use when Korea would claim he didn't need to learn his kanji, because he invented it, "How about we stop with the beverages before your people all die of alcohol poisoning, okay, aru?" I shoved England and France apart, much to France's displeasure. "Chiiiina!" he moaned, "Why would you do that?" I grunted in response.

"Russia", I snapped, "help me with America, aru." The massive northern stood, picked America up, and swung him over his shoulder. I had to stop myself from dropping m jaw at this. (America is not known for being thin) and whipped out my thick phone to call a taxi, death hold on France's ear.

"Yes, nihao?" I asked when someone picks up, "I need a taxi to…" I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear, hand pressed over the speaker. "Damn it… what is the name of this place again?" America had apparently roused himself and found nothing odd about being slung over Russia's shoulder, because he supplied us with a "'t's call'd Ta Gr'sshopp'r", before he went limp again. "Lovely", I sighed, "you sound like Sweden". Then I removed my hand from the phone, composed myself, and said "Yes, a taxi to The Grasshopper, please."

A couple of minutes, passes at England, and awakenings later, our taxi arrived. (We wee lucky it was a big one- apparently I'd drunk more than I thought and forgot t tell the cab company that there were 5 of us.) Russia threw America in the back seat, and England and France clambered in after him, leaving Russia and I to sit in the middle two seats. After we all stuffed ourselves in, a very exasperated-sounding driver rubbed his temples as if he had a headache. "Crazy day in Times Square today, the war is over, the war is over" he murmured, then raised his voice slightly. "Where to?"

_Oh crap. _There was a silence, only broken by the driver's sigh. "Amerika?" Russia asked, then stiffened. We were supposed to use our human names around regular people. Luckily for us, though, the exhausted driver thought that was where we wanted to go! He frowned. "We're _in _America, sir". Russia waved him away and turned back to America, or Alfred, or whatever you want to call him.

"Am-Alfred, we're all staying at your house tonight. We can't all fly back to our countries tonight". He leaned back in his seat, loosened his scarf, and rested his hand on top of mine. I blushed, but turned and pretended to look out the window to hide it.

Damn. I'd forgotten our little bet. One thing was sure, if he kept doing crap like this, I was in serious trouble of losing the thing. But then I realized he probably knew that. Scowling, I wrapped my fingers tightly around Russia's, which caused wolf whistles from the back seat. _Two an play this game, Eguo._

America's New York house as one of those old brownstone ones, though I was fairly sure I was a bit bigger than normal, with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a small library, a living room, and a kitchen. Of course, even though it was big, we had the dilemma of having 5 people and 3 beds. "Hmm…" America said, "n't 'nough bed". I glared at him. "Yes, thank you, Sherlock, aru." America tried to bow while still over Russia's shoulder, which didn't work out too well for him. "Mmhm. An't'ing fer m' dear Ch'n-" Russia shut him up by thumping him really hard on the back of the head, causing Texas to clatter to the floor. "Was that really necessary, aru?" He shrugged.

"It might have been, da?" You'll never know. Anyway, I think we need to assign rooms to everyone." I sighed and nodded. "Probably, aru. We're the only ones not passed out or about to pass out." Russia set America and England (who passed out in the taxi) on the floor and shoved France down with them. "Hmm, well, France should get his own room, aru." I decided, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring down at the three of them. "Da," he agreed, tugging at his scarf some more. "The passed out ones can share the middle room. It's not like they'll be aware of it, aru." Russia looked over at me, disbelieving.

I stiffened. "Don't take it the wrong way, aru. I'm just not getting all comfy-cozy with those Capitalist Westerners." Turning away from him, I picked up England and threw him over my shoulder. (Which isn't nearly as easy as Russia made it look- I'm older than I seem, okay?) Russia followed suit, but with America.

We walked I silence to the middle room. I just managed to shoot out a hand fast enough to flick on the light, before I needed it to support England again Good God- had he been eating bricks? Stumbling over to the bed, I tripped over something and face-planted into the comforter. England hit his head against the headboard with a dull thunk, before slowly sliding down onto the bed. "Oh, wow", I said, sitting up and straightening out my uniform, "he's really out of it, aru."

Russia nodded and dumped America down harder than I had with England. I winced. "Jesus, Russia, if he wakes up with a bruise or something… you just screwed us both, aru." He muttered something about deserving it, which I agreed to, but didn't say anything. Instead, I just took his arm and dragged him to the entrance, where France was waiting. Still silent, I let go of Russia, grabbed France by his ear, (Which seemed to really work for him!) and carried him to the back room. "Stay _in here_" I warned, then drug myself back to where Russia stood.

"Don't try _anything_", I said angrily, "I will not hesitate to go all Kung Fu on your ass." He laughed. "I'm sure you wouldn't, Kitai." I fumed all the way to the bedroom, where I lay stiffly on one side of the bed. "China, please act like your alive" Russia complained, sitting down on the other side. "I'm alive, aru", I muttered into my pillow. He frowned and layed down next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I shrugged it off. There was an awkward silence.

Then he wound his foot around mine. This time, I did nothing in response. _Damn it! _I thought angrily, glancing over at the clock, _I'm about to lose this Godforsaken bet! _Waiting a minute, I turned over so that my head was no longer buried in my pillow, then leaned over to Russia and pressed my lips against his. "Mmph~!" he said in surprise, but then loosened up.

We lay like this for a while, lips moving together, before he ran his tongue along my lower lip, asking for entrance. I slowly opened my mouth, and he let his tongue in, exploring. I moaned quietly and my heart was beating like mad. Reaching behind my head, he slowly tugged at my ponytail until it came undone, pooling around my shoulders. I pulled his scarf off in response.

Only when I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore did I pull away. He squawked something in protest, but I raised a finger to his lip, effectively silencing him. I sucked in a couple of deep breaths and laid back down on my side of the bed. "China?" he whispered, "I hate to say it, after…that, but… I think you just lost our bet, da?" I grinned, though he couldn't see it in the dark. "Look at the clock, aru. It's past midnight. You specifically said if I didn't kiss you by the end of the night, I would win. Well, 12:00 starts a new day, aru. Therefore…" I didn't have to finish the sentence. He grumbled some things about not being fair. "Hmm… I think that you need to be more careful with your wording, love." I decided, reaching over and pecking him on the cheek. All I got in response was a sigh.

Story: The Grasshopper

Author: Max-chan

Word Count (w/o notes): 2,182

Summary: After winning WW2, America decides that the Allies need to go drinking to celebrate. China will only go on a bet with Russia that involves kissing… RoChu; fluffy. Mild yaoi at the end.

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. Hidekaz Himaruya-sama owns Hetalia.

A/N: COMPLETELY AU and OOC, ha. Just stretch you lovely imaginations and pretend China was Communist by 1945, 'kay? REALLY, they became a People's Republic in 1949 after the Communists took over Peking (and I'm pretty sure they re-named it Beijing then) and the KMT fled to Taiwan. Also, I'm not entirely sure China's phone and the taxi service were around then, either. When I originally wrote this, (in my journal) I forgot I set it in the 40's and gave them cell phones and crap like that, XD. ANYWAY, Reviews feed my hungry author's soul! If you review, you get e-Cookies! (I feel that would be a successful business…)

~Max-chan


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